Neighbors - HomeModders.com

Bob Vila · 01-14-2008, 11:47 AM

Not sure how many of you own your own home etc. but I just came into this predicament and wanted to see other responses.

We have some neighbors a few houses down who came to find out that I used to be in the business of constructing high end cabinetry and millwork. Well they have an in-law apt that their daughter recently moved into and the structure did not have a kitchen. Through conversation they were asking questions about style, pricing etc and I gave them my opinions in good faith. The neighbor asked if I'd be able to help him get started on installing the cabinetry that he was purchasing through an outlet. I, being the type of person I am, obliged and offered my initial assistance to help him get started.

Fast forward to this past weekend - it was brisk out and I hadn't had a chance to finish picking up the last few leaves that didn't fall until after two snow storms so I was outside - the neighbor visited and advised me that hte cabinets were in and if I'd be able to stop by and plan some things out for him. As I am talking with him he keeps inferring that I'd be doing the job, etc. Now, my wife would tell you that I can't say no to people. I have a very hard time letting people down etc so no matter what I bite the bullet and do as asked. So here I find myself in a predicament as to where I am now fully fledged into doing this guys kitchen with no mention of payment, taking up precious time that I really don't have to offer (I'm fully engaged in a remodel myself). Granted, this kitchen is cut and dry but I truthfully don't feel like offering my time up for nothing. I'm all about HELPING neighbors but where can you draw the line?

Cliffnotes: I need to grow some balls.

Thanks for the vent...

briansol · 01-14-2008, 03:43 PM

I'd do one block then leave. you got him started, and that's all you obliged to. Once he has a model, he should be able to finish it from there. If not, he needs to talk money to you, or return the favor and help you with your re-modeling.

ScrapinSTi · 01-14-2008, 11:02 PM

Yup.. Do a little to help him and hand it off to him... thats what my boss did... He came over and helped me rip out the termite damage, frame in for the new window, then said "You're on your own"... I cut out the window & redid the siding myself after he showed me what to do...

Then for the next windows... same thing... he helped me with the base framing, then left me to do the extra supports, cut out the window, make the splitter for the windows, & install it all myself...

My boss didn't do it totally for free either... I gave him my old quad for him helping me with that and for letting me use his garage to pull the motor out of the STi...

Airjockie · 01-19-2008, 06:29 PM

I'm a firm believer in karma.... when you do something good to help out others, it normally comes back to you. But get him started, crack a beer with him, get him relaxed and hint about some help on your place or expenses for your time...

fred333 · 05-01-2008, 12:53 PM

That sounds like a plan to me.

01-14-2008, 11:47 AM	#1
Bob Vila Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: In a house Posts: 105 Rep Power: 2	Neighbors Not sure how many of you own your own home etc. but I just came into this predicament and wanted to see other responses. We have some neighbors a few houses down who came to find out that I used to be in the business of constructing high end cabinetry and millwork. Well they have an in-law apt that their daughter recently moved into and the structure did not have a kitchen. Through conversation they were asking questions about style, pricing etc and I gave them my opinions in good faith. The neighbor asked if I'd be able to help him get started on installing the cabinetry that he was purchasing through an outlet. I, being the type of person I am, obliged and offered my initial assistance to help him get started. Fast forward to this past weekend - it was brisk out and I hadn't had a chance to finish picking up the last few leaves that didn't fall until after two snow storms so I was outside - the neighbor visited and advised me that hte cabinets were in and if I'd be able to stop by and plan some things out for him. As I am talking with him he keeps inferring that I'd be doing the job, etc. Now, my wife would tell you that I can't say no to people. I have a very hard time letting people down etc so no matter what I bite the bullet and do as asked. So here I find myself in a predicament as to where I am now fully fledged into doing this guys kitchen with no mention of payment, taking up precious time that I really don't have to offer (I'm fully engaged in a remodel myself). Granted, this kitchen is cut and dry but I truthfully don't feel like offering my time up for nothing. I'm all about HELPING neighbors but where can you draw the line? Cliffnotes: I need to grow some balls. Thanks for the vent... __________________ Bow to my presence...

01-14-2008, 03:43 PM	#2
briansol Administrator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Central CT Age: 28 Posts: 432 Rep Power: 10	I'd do one block then leave. you got him started, and that's all you obliged to. Once he has a model, he should be able to finish it from there. If not, he needs to talk money to you, or return the favor and help you with your re-modeling. __________________ 1997 2050sqft Split Level

05-01-2008, 12:53 PM	#5
fred333 Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 24 Rep Power: 0	That sounds like a plan to me. __________________ Looking for some good credit card counseling.

01-14-2008, 11:02 PM	#3
ScrapinSTi Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: In Debt. Posts: 240 Rep Power: 2	Yup.. Do a little to help him and hand it off to him... thats what my boss did... He came over and helped me rip out the termite damage, frame in for the new window, then said "You're on your own"... I cut out the window & redid the siding myself after he showed me what to do... Then for the next windows... same thing... he helped me with the base framing, then left me to do the extra supports, cut out the window, make the splitter for the windows, & install it all myself... My boss didn't do it totally for free either... I gave him my old quad for him helping me with that and for letting me use his garage to pull the motor out of the STi...

01-19-2008, 06:29 PM	#4
Airjockie Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 83 Rep Power: 2	I'm a firm believer in karma.... when you do something good to help out others, it normally comes back to you. But get him started, crack a beer with him, get him relaxed and hint about some help on your place or expenses for your time...